worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize