did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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