If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize