I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize