We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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