I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize