aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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