I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize