youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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