you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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