She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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