i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize