Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize