You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
