I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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