You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
