My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
did i walk over a car last night?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
