it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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