can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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