dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
