At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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