Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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