i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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