I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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