So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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