And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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