how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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