Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful