i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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