Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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