Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
