Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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