Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I know her cup size but not her name....
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