idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
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Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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