She's JV to your varsity
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I spit up blood this morning
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night