Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
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Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n