Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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