Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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