we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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