problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
