Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
