so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby