I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting