I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Bring me that man meat
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.