help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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