im drinking this country out of the recession.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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