You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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