I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dick very happy bro
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
