Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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