You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
