I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
