some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
