I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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