If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
